Q:
I am hoping you can help me out because this has been
a long hard problem for me. I can't seem to orgasm
while having sex. I have tried every sex position in the
book, tried oils, food, even random places, and still
nothing. It always feels amazing, but I just can't
orgasm. It's been so long for me I don't even know if
I am anymore. Help please!!!
A:
I am so glad that you wrote to me about this, because you’re
certainly not alone. In fact, most women (roughly 70% of sexually active
women) do not have orgasms from sexual intercourse. Shocking…especially
because we are led to believe that sex is always going to end in
climax. It often does, for men. The reason is this - the clitoris is
where the majority of women’s orgasms come from, and it is located at
the top of the vulva, where the labia meet. The clitoris is sometimes
tucked behind an area which is called the clitoral hood, but has
“clitoral legs” (more nerve endings and erectile tissue) that extend
inside the body. Because it isn’t located directly inside of the vagina,
many times it isn’t stimulated during intercourse. The fact is, if you
don’t have vaginal orgasms (stemming from inside of the vagina) and not
all of us do, you’re going to have to find a way to stimulate the
clitoris (either manually or using a vibrator) during intercourse to
achieve that orgasm.